Memoir
Date Published: December 11th, 2025
Publisher: Acorn Publishing
Vincentia Schroeter dreams of building a family of her own and expects an easy pregnancy. She imagines following in her mother’s footsteps, surrounded by the love of children. However, when complications mount, she must face the likelihood that her wish will never come true.
As her sisters bear children, and women all around her share their happy baby news, Vin grows more envious than ever. The frustration continues as hard truths test her patience and faith and medical professionals deliver devastating blows. The only thing she knows for sure is that she is determined to become a mother.
A story of one woman’s harrowing path through trauma and disillusionment, Babymaking is a heartfelt memoir of vulnerability, rupture, and repair. Vin’s journey reminds us that hope and unconditional love have the power to lead us to the place we were always meant to be.
The pain rips
through my left side. I’m woozy, trying to keep from fainting. I’m in the
hospital cafeteria waiting for surgery. Words float around me. Someone is
talking to me—my husband? My eyelids are heavy, but through hazy slits, I can
make out two doctors in white coats running toward me. Within seconds, I’m
placed in a wheelchair and rushed down a hospital corridor. Every twist and
turn hurts my belly like I am riding a bucking bronco. I’m six weeks pregnant.
Every thought is on my baby.
As I’m wheeled
into the elevator, a bump from the raised metal transition strip jars my
insides. We move from the elevator into a white room.
This pain is
familiar. I know what’s happening to me because it has happened before. My
fallopian tube has burst, and I am bleeding internally. I know this means the
baby will die. I know this means I could bleed to death.
My pelvic cavity
is filling with blood; pain rises up through my body, stabbing my shoulders
like knives. A somber team in scrubs moves quickly around me. I shake with cold
as they lift my body onto a gurney to prep me for surgery. No one talks to me.
Urgent hands snap on green gloves and attach masks. I feel poking and prodding.
I smell latex and rubbing alcohol. I am so cold.
I shorten my
breath to maintain some control. My brain twists into a fuzzy cloud, and I am
grateful because it pushes down my rising terror.
In my
imagination, I see a waiter pouring merlot into an oval wine glass. I want him
to stop, but he is blank-faced and unmoved. He continues to pour until the
glass overflows. The red wine spills onto the white linen tablecloth, flows off
the table, and pools onto the floor. I can’t do anything. Even though this is
my house. Even though this is my body.
A wave of
alertness pulls me out of my shivering. Masked faces do not look into my eyes,
so my panic rises. I worry they won’t care about me.
I grab Steve’s
arm and say to him, “Tell them I need to know what is going on.”
Before they take
me away from him, Steve tells the doctors and nurses, “You need to walk her
through this and reassure her.”
They nod.
He looks at me
warmly and squeezes my hand. As they wheel me into the operating room and
anesthesia makes me fade, all I can do is surrender and breathe and wonder, Will I ever be a mother?
Vincentia Schroeter grew up in a small town in central California as the fourth of twelve children. Intrigued by the many different personalities in her family, she knew by the age of sixteen that she wanted to be a counselor. She put herself through college and graduate school in order to pursue her dreams.
Vin is the author of the award-winning self-help book, Communication Breakthrough: How Using Brain Science and Listening to Body Cues Can Change Your Relationships (2018). She also co-authored a training manual on somatic psychotherapy that has been translated into three languages.
After a forty-year career as a psychotherapist listening to clients’ stories of pain and trauma, Vin felt drawn to share her own story. She now lives in San Diego with her husband Steve and enjoys pickleball, painting, and time with family, including her dog, Ren.
Instagram: @vincentia_schroeter
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